Scene: A London club, summer of 1974
PRODUCER: Thank you boys for chatting with me this morning.
ANDREW LLOYD WEBER: We’re only too happy to oblige.
TIM RICE: Indeed.
PRODUCER: Tim, as you know, Andrew has been kind enough to score our film, The Odessa File. You may know the book, written by the fellow who did Day of the Jackal.
TIM: Good film, that.
PRODUCER: We hope to improve on it. Ours has several timely and exciting elements: a crusading journalist who uncovers an evil international network of ex-Nazis evading prosecution.
TIM: I’m sure Andrew will do a superb job on the score, but I’m afraid I have nothing to do with that.
PRODUCER: Yes, but the team feels that our film lacks a certain something that really make it special: a song.
TIM: A song about ex-Nazis?
PRODUCER: No, no, no. We plan to release the film internationally late this fall, just before the holidays. What’s more the story opens at Christmas time, in Munich—snowy streets, candles in the windows….
TIM: A Christmas song about ex-Nazis?
PRODUCER: Tim, that would be tasteless beyond comment. But we were hoping that the two of you might come up with a more general type of Christmas song that could open the film on a more gentle note. We don’t want people to come into the theater from caroling only to hit them over the head with Nazis and concentration camps. But the song should convey a bit of the flavor of the film …
TIM: Ashes and regret?
PRODUCER: … a bit of color reflecting the setting and the season while maybe hinting at the darker elements to come.
ANDREW: A bit of gemütlichkeit with shadings of menace.
PRODUCER: Andrew, I knew you were the right man for the assignment. I was thinking along the lines of a polka.
ANDREW: Yes! A polka is really just a step or two, a drum or two, away from a march.
TIM: If they have proved anything, the Germans have proved that.
PRODUCER: Another tradition we might draw on is the popularity of boys choirs at the holidays in Germany and Austria. A beautiful sound.
ANDREW: It could be an interesting addition to our palette.
TIM: Is that where the shadings of menace come in?
PRODUCER: If they sang in German, it would!
ANDREW: And some “Horst Wessel Song” harmonies might get that point across in a most pleasing way.
TIM: “Pleasing menace” is soon to be our calling card, I’m sure. Any thoughts concerning the vocal talent to bring this amalgam to life?
PRODUCER: It’s taken care of. The contract is signed. Someone synonymous with songs of the season, and a proven hit maker: Perry Como.
TIM: How timely. Andy Williams and Johnny Mathis were unavailable?
PRODUCER: I didn’t even try. Perry’s the one. Plus, the studio has a relationship with RCA.
TIM: I don’t recall The Day of the Jackal including or requiring a hit song.
PRODUCER: That’s just one of the ways we will improve on it!
TIM and ANDREW: Indeed.
PRODUCER: Tim, are you up to it? Can you write a song that does all we have discussed here today, that brings my vision to life?
TIM: Yes. I am fully certain I can write lyrics commensurate with the scope and genius of your vision. I shall call it “Christmas Dream.”
PRODUCER: Brilliant. I’ll call Perry immediately. Andrew, see about that boys choir.
– Tom Fredrickson is the proprietor of the unparalleled music blog, Lost Wax Method.
