For many couples, preparing for a wedding means picking out a venue, sending out invitations, choosing the perfect dress and writing wedding vows. However, it is important to remember that engaged couples also need to spend time focusing on the marriage itself, as well as the wedding. Pre-marriage counseling is a popular way to get an understanding of what the other person expects from the years after the wedding ceremony, and it can be led by your local church leader or a trained therapist or counselor. If you are interested in the idea of pre-marriage counseling, then be sure to read through this list of pros and cons to learn more.
Pros of Pre-Marriage Counseling
Address Major Issues for the Future
The biggest reason that couples decide to participate in pre-marriage counseling is because they want to avoid divorce. Ultimately, 50 percent of marriages within the United States end in divorce, so anything that can help is usually tried. According to the National Directory of Marriage and Family Counseling, pre-marriage counseling can help to reduce divorce rates by 30 percent, a staggering number. By participating in counseling sessions that deal with the tough subjects like finances, raising children and sexual expectations, you can help to reduce your own chance of divorce in the future.
Learn About Your Partner’s Expectations
Many men and women go into marriage with expectations for the marriage, but it is important that both members of the union are on the same page. If one partner believes that Sundays will involve church and family dinners, for example, and the other plans to sleep in and watch football, it is better to address it in advance than after the wedding.
Understand More About Religion and Your Relationship
Pre-marriage counseling is often held in a religious setting, and for many couples religion may be the major talking point during the counseling sessions. Devout or spiritual individuals can use their counseling sessions with religious leaders, pastors or rabbis to learn more about marriage in a religious context, how their religion suggests treating their spouse and more.
Cons of Pre-Marriage Counseling
Can Create Additional Arguments
Sometimes, counseling can actually bring up arguments between couples in areas like finances, work ethics, raising future children or religion. Sarah Harrison, senior editor of YourTango.com, says of these issues, “These are things people aren’t considering in the honeymoon phase, but they need to be addressed head on.” Unfortunately, addressing these issues can result in arguments and fights between the engaged couple.
May Lead to a Cancelled Wedding
If the counseling does result in a large argument, you may find yourself in a situation where you aren’t sure if you even want to get married. While this is obviously not a good situation, many people believe it is better than you feel this way before the wedding than after the ceremony.
Pre-marriage counseling is a way for engaged couples to discuss major issues before their wedding. Although there are pros and cons, it is ultimately up to each individual couple to decide whether or not counseling is right for them.
– Hillary Gordon blogs about higher education and counseling. If you are interested in becoming a counselor, you might consider applying for a masters degree in counseling at http://counseling.online.wfu.edu/ or http://www.shu.edu.
