Disgraced doper-cyclist Lance Armstrong begins his comeback attempt tonight, as he talks to Oprah Winfrey. Reportedly confesses to Oprah Winfrey that he cycled drugs through his blood in an elaborate international cheating scheme that would make rebuilding Steve Austin seem like a mundane affair, by comparison. Perhaps Lance – coached by a small army of advisors and attorneys in tow – will shed a tear.
My question is how hard Winfrey will go at Lance during her two-part (two parts?) interview/confessional.
For Lance is, above all, a super creep. Not just a cheat, but a liar. Not just a liar, but someone who spent an inordinate amount of time and money going after people who dared to say boo to his empire of bullshit. Suing companies, people. Intimidating journalists trying to cover the Tour de France. Basically calling a whistle-blowing woman a whore. Pressuring fellow cyclists to take drugs, for fame and glory and money – “you ride with Lance, you do performance enhancing drugs,” was more than a mantra. Not just a bully, but a guy who made a hundred million dollars and more while wrapping himself in the beard of the Livestrong Foundation. Developing an army of Lance Armstrong-brand fans and supporters from the cancer survivors and fighters the foundation helped. A foundation that, in turn, helped Lance (who, for all we know, developed cancer from taking drugs) make more money. Armstrong, while developing a reputation for arrogance and outrageous ego within the sport, nonetheless inspired millions of uninformed, average, often American joes and janes with his Tour exploits, his books; a famous Nike commercial was made, extolling his virtue and clean bill of health.
“Just Do It.”
This army came rushing to his defense when the book was finally thrown at Lance last fall. It was movie-worthy, the extent of his cult of personality at work. like an alternate scene in “A Face In The Crowd.” Lance the huckster denouncing, for the hundredth time, his accusers as part of an international (this is important to Americans, the “international” part) conspiracy to bring him – and his Foundation (this is important to cancer patients, the “Foundation” part) down. Everyone’s a liar, Lance and his followers said; it’s a witch hunt.
And if he did cheat, so what? Lance Armstrong helped people fight cancer. Lance Armstrong did what he had to do to win; America loves a winner, and Lance Armstrong was America’s champion in France. In the world. Everybody cheats. No matter how Lance Armstrong’s offensive defense was sold and swallowed (and regurgitated), nose-thumbing Lance won at the end of the day.
An insidious super creep. Before and after the falls, televangelists have never been so bold with their bullshit.
Lance has reportedly apologized to the foundation, with which he had the rare grace to sever all ties. I’m not sure if he’s apologized to Sheryl Crow or not. We’ll see if Lance Armstrong, super creep, will publicly apologize to all the people he’s hurt, to all the companies he’s defrauded. To all the dreams that he’s cheapened. For all the bad tastes in so many mouths.
Lance Armstrong’s seeking the biggest ego-stroke of his life, forgiveness. And, despite his chronic case of creepiness, I suspect he’ll eventually get what he wants. That’s what makes a man a champion, isn’t it?
