In December 2015 I wrote about evangelical Wheaton College’s decision to suspend Larycia Hawkins, its’ first ever female African American tenured professor due to a seemingly innocuous FB post. Well, the acrimony intensified and now Professor Hawkins will not return.
In my EPB post, I referenced a similar trial of a Seminary professor, Fred Holmgren, who endured at the hands of people from North Park University, my alma mater. I have conducted a little more research since my December post, and learned that Professor Holmgren wrote a prayer as a result of his ordeal. It appears in the denomination’s hymnal as entry 912 in the “Lament” section. Here it is.
Shepherd and Savior of Israel, Creator of the world, I hope in you.
Compassionate Redeemer, you who live in Christ,
Apart from you life is empty.From the lips of family and friends, I have heard of you,
In experience, marked by routine and surprise, I have felt the brush of your presence,
But, Divine Friend, there is an absence in your presence that makes me uneasy.In thoughtful periods, I feel the pain of being alone;
I am burdened with the suspicion that there is no caring eye upon any of us,
There are marvelous moments of happiness when we experience your sunlike brightness and warmth.But there is night! What do you do in the night?
Must there be these long hours when the rays of your love are unseen?
Darkness and light may be the same for you; for us, however, the darkness is scary and uncertain.
Maker of the universe, do you know how hard it is just to face normal, everyday life?
Are you aware of those moments when we are almost empty of strength and feel like giving up?
Dear God, we are devastated by the death of loved ones, we are anxious by serious, continuing illness;
our hands hang down at the loss of job and the put-downs of colleagues;
family strife and divorce wither our desire to continue on;
rejection by friends leaves us lonely and solitary.In these times it is hard to pray to you;
difficult to praise you because as much as we want to present, you seem absent.It is not only your absence, however, that causes pain, even your presence afflicts us with questions.
Why are you present with a few and not all;
why do you help individuals with small matters and ignore large populations dying from hunger and persecution?Are these matters too difficult for us to understand?
Mysterious, incomparable God, Ruler over all the earth, we are awed by you but we are also confused by the manner in which you rule the world.
In order for you to be God, is it necessary to be so mysterious and distant?
We long for you, God-with-us, we fervently seek you, our Sovereign.
Sometimes we say I will no longer seek you, we will no longer wait upon you, will reject the thought that you care for us.
But we continue to seek after you because, although we feel as if we are singing a song in a strange land, we trust that you hear.
That is all.
