Well WTF? Who has heard about the lost invention, Starlite? It’s one of those stories that seems like the plot for a science fiction film and a comedy, but it’s actually kind of a tragedy.
You feel like this a hoax…but tell me this isn’t too strange to be fiction:
An eccentric (yet marvelously talented) English hairdresser named Maurice Ward is inspired to invent a heat resistant plastic after a 1985 airline disaster kills 40 people in 50 seconds. A fire breaks out while the plane is on the runway but the passengers die from asphyxiation.
This dude comes up with this 90% organic material that can easily withstand nuclear tests. Starlite doesn’t even absorb heat until you cook it at 10,000 degrees, and even then if you were inside the temperature change is negligible.
This material could save lives everyday, and could potentially be a major breakthrough in human space travel and man’s quest to launch dildos into the heart of the Sun. Maurice also owns several cutting edge bow ties that shocked researchers.
Maurice also knew that material could be weaponized if the chemical formula for Starlite fell into the wrong hands. Furthermore he also looks like Santa Claus after a Gastric Bypass. This is what a mad scientist wears in Witness Protection, after turning states evidence in a notorious crime of fashion. His outfit in this interview is at least a triple murder.
And for a little local spin, Boeing, our very own homegrown pillar of the Military Industrial Complex, is a part of what happens next.
Can your bespoke arts and crafts project on Etsy withstand 75 Hiroshimas? The mysterious blend of organic plastic and ceramic that this super cozy guy mixed up in his basement can.
…and why would he claim his four daughters also have the trillion dollar recipe for world domination? WTF?
Watch this video:
Starlite would have been handy in Southern California this Christmas.
DISCLAIMER: This story caught my eye because one of the songs I wrote on a lunch break in September was called Starlight. But that is the name of a Muse song I rather like, and may have been the spark as I was reminiscing about Glastonbury and polishing my Brit Pop Sherlock Soul single with Scott Rowe around that time.
Now to reverse engineer my own version of ‘Starlite’ from a lo fi phone recording I whipped together in 15 minutes at a warehouse.
– Musician and writer Davin Michael Stedman has many musical ventures and is one of the driving forces behind the Staxx Brothers. He will be partying in Kingston, Jamaica soon.
