Quincy Jones once said that it’s hard to know what the future held for Tupac, because if you killed Malcolm X at 25, you killed a Pimp named Red.
Well the same can be said for the weirdest muthaf☆cka in history, Rasputin. You kill Rasputin at 28, you killed a slutty farmer named Randy.
No matter how many times I hear his story, it never ceases to weird me the f☆ck out. The Eastern Orthodox rebel monk orgies, his psychic and healing powers that few can contest but some can partially explain (he kept Russian doctors stop giving the hemopholiac prince aspirin).
The dude would beat the “sin” out of hookers then hook up with them at the local bath house, and definitely not take a bath. That’s terrifying. That was also his daily routine.
Lets move ahead to his first assassination attempt shall we?
His conspirators convince a noseless hooker to stab him on his pleasure vacay to Siberia. This ghost of a woman goes ham, stabbing him over and over in the stomach, reaching into his stomach and she yanks out his guts
…on the day Franz Ferdinand is assassinated beginning WWI.
You know the War Rasputin warns Czar Nicholas about while predicting they all would perish in a river of blood, if Nicky didn’t cool out, and sit has ass down on the sidelines.
Naaaailed it.
This ain’t 1/100th of the weirdness of Rasputin. Even when the Aristocrats lure Rasputin into a trap offering to have him bang the evil out of one of their wives, they feed him a feast of cianide that would kill a few healthy NBA teams, that won’t kill him. Nope. He’s feelin’ good.
…find out how hard Rasputin was to kill in the next episode of Learn Some History Because Real Life is 100x times more weird than Fiction. Even that whack ass YA fiction where they make Vampires glitter in the daylight and catch feels.
If you inserted Rasputin in Twilight he would have boned “the evil” out of every Vampire and rode off on a Warewolf.
Tell me I’m wrong.
Rasputin. The power of self confidence.
…also his wang is on display in St. Petersburg.
…also don’t underestimate Russians. I am cool with Russians. We get along famously. I appreciate their art, I respect their history. I would never chess box a 15 year old Russian even if he had one eye, no arms, and four toes.
– Musician and writer Davin Michael Stedman has many ventures, such as the AMAZING blog, 100milesofmusic.com. Davin’s new song has become a global earworm and Caribbean dancehall hit. Listen here on Reggaeville: DAVIN MICHAEL STEDMAN & ANTHONY RED ROSE – FREE YOUR MIND FEAT. SLY & ROBBIE WITH LENKY MARSDEN. The video is now available on Youtube. His single with British band Sherlock Soul is available here.
