The enlightened leader knows that in business, conflicts between workers, customers and vendors are unavoidable and often beyond our control. However, we do have control over our reaction to conflict. The ability to identify and resolve conflict is a key attribute of good leadership. Leaders who cannot resolve office conflicts will risk having their top talent walk. Great leaders identify the root of the conflict and are able to identify and avoid potential conflict before it emerges.
When resolving conflict, most people take one of three options. They over-react, get emotional or avoid it. In each case the situation usually escalates out of control, and keeps resurfacing.
The best approach is to practice the “Art of De-escalation”, which is to stay calm and quickly lower the tension level amongst the quarrelling parties. When talking to a colleague or customer who is agitated, do not raise your voice. Stay calm and help the other person calm down before they resort to raising their voice higher and higher. Listen to what the other person wants you to hear; you don’t have to agree with it. Be aware of your body language and keep it neutral and non-threatening. Often just letting the other side share their feelings will cause them to become more cooperative and many arguments dissolve right then.
After listening to their reasoning, find areas that everyone can agree on. Often this is the big picture of “we all want the project to be delivered on time to the customer’s satisfaction, now let’s review the steps we will take to get there.” Think about what ideas could make both sides satisfied. End the discussion with both sides agreeing to think about solutions and talk again. If it is an argument that cannot be resolved, both sides can simply “agree to disagree”. When the issue is resolved, engage in some sort of ritual to mark your shared success: a handshake or coffee together will provide some sort of closure and increase communication.
Some conflicts occur from people overstepping their bounds and into another person’s territory. Clear job titles and responsibilities are useful. Create a framework for decision making and business practices. Make it available for all to see. When you must intervene in a conflict, show you are striving to do so in a just and decisive fashion. If 2 employees don’t get along, separate them, move their seats or put them on separate projects.
Leaders define what is acceptable behavior in an office and I find it is good to have a near zero level of tolerance for quarreling in the office. Office fighting zaps the productivity of 2 or more workers and takes energy away from speaking to customers and other important actions. Leaders set the tone. Through the “Art of De-escalation” leaders can improve teamwork and productivity by reducing conflicts.
– Originally from Chicago, Darren McKellin has been living and working in Japan and the APAC region for over 29 years in both global IT giants (Vodafone, Oracle, Verizon) and startups. Currently he is the Area Director for North Asia for Zscaler, the leader in cloud-based information security where he is responsible for Japan and Korea. Darren is also the Chair of the Information, Technology and Communications Committee at the American Chamber of Commerce in Japan.
