Candy is Dandy, but liquor is quicker.
-Ogden Nash
I remember when I saw this quote as a kid (far too young to know what sex was – but I knew what candy was), and it stuck with me. The line is from the 1931 poem by Ogden Nash, ‘Reflections on the Ice Breaking’ – and later in the 1971 film ‘Willy Wonka’ – and is within a conversation between a mother and daughter about the daughter’s upcoming birthday party. The daughter wants candy and snacks around for the boys and girls to help them enjoy themselves. The mother-of-the-year candidate utters the line, suggesting that if she wants to empress her friends and to get them to like her, booze is the way to go. Luckily the daughter is aghast and reminded her mother that they are too young to drink. “Oh yeah, that’s right. Sorry! I forgot about that. In that case, candy it is!”
Like chocolates and flowers, liquor has been circling around romance (and sex – both wanted and unwanted) probably as long as there have been fermented spirits. Some cocktails have come to be associated with romance, some as an aphrodisiac, and some to deal with regret. So, whether you are making something to impress someone special, or celebrate that they are no longer in your life, here are a few of my favorite wonderful and naughty libations to start you off.
Between the Sheets or Maiden’s Prayer
Some say this drink was created in the streets of Paris to numb the new prostitutes. By the 1950’s it had gained a reputation for a drink to serve to someone you wanted to seduce. Either way, very tasty.
1oz VS Cognac
1oz light rum
1oz Cointreau
1/2oz fresh lemon juice
Lemon twist garnish
Add everything to a cocktail shaker filled with ice and shake for 15 seconds. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass and add the garnish. Serve.
The Chocolate Martini
A cocktail dreamed up by Elizabeth Taylor and Rock Hudson in 1955 while drinking during a break from filming ‘Giant’ in Marfa, Texas. Decadent and delicious.
2oz vodka
2oz Godiva chocolate liqueur
2oz Irish Cream
Chocolate syrup
Chocolate truffle garnish
Dark chocolate shavings
Pour chocolate syrup on a plate and invert a martini glass onto it to coat the rim. Run chocolate syrup around the interior of the glass in a spiral. Add the three ingredients to a shaker filled with ice and shake for 15 seconds. Strain into the glass. Add the truffle garnish and shave dark chocolate over the top of the drink.
The Lyndy Hop
Beautiful and sophisticated. Just like your significant other. And delicious.
1oz vodka
1oz Plymouth gin
3/4oz Cocci Americano
1/2 Dolin Blanc vermouth
1 1/2oz chilled sparkling wine
Lemon twist
Add everything to a mixing glass with ice except for the sparkling wine. Stir for 30 seconds and strain into a chilled coupe glass. Add the sparkling wine, express the lemon over the surface and add to the drink. Serve.
Painkiller
A delicious and potent tiki drink to help you forget everything that needs to be forgotten. Even if only temporarily.
2oz Pusser’s Navy Strength Rum
4oz pineapple juice
1oz orange juice
1oz cream of coconut
Pineapple garnish
Grated nutmeg
Add everything to a shaker filled with ice and shake for 15 seconds. Strain into a hurricane glass filled with crushed ice. Add pineapple garnish and grated nutmeg and serve.
Psychopathia Sexualis
The drink named for the deviant behavior of male homosexuality in a textbook by Richard Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing’s 1886. This is delightful – and besides, who cares who you love? Its none of his business.
1/2oz London dry gin
1/2oz Amontillado sherry
1/2oz dry vermouth
1/2oz sweet vermouth
1 dash orange bitters
Orange zest garnish
Add everything to a mixing glass filled with ice and stir for 30 seconds. Strain into a chilled Nick & Nora or cocktail glass. Add garnish and serve.
The Porn Star Martini
Despite the name, a delicious and sophisticated cocktail. Not technically a martini, but who cares?
2 oz vanilla vodka
1 1/2 oz fresh passion fruit
1/2 oz passion fruit liqueur
1/2 oz vanilla simple syrup
1/2 fresh lime juice
2 oz chilled prosecco
1/2 passion fruit garnish
Cut two passion fruits in half and scoop out the pulp from three halves and place into a shaker tin. Scoop out the pulp from the remaining half and replace it back in the hull and set aside. Add the vanilla vodka, liqueur, vanilla simple syrup, and lime juice into the shaker. Add ice and shake for 15 seconds. Strain into a chilled martini or cocktail glass, using a second fine mesh strainer (double strain) above the glass to catch any pulp. Carefully place the remaining passion fruit half into the drink. Pour a 2oz prosecco sidecar into a shot glass or small tasting glass and serve the two glasses together. The vanilla and the passion fruit are a wonderful combination, which is then brightened by the sip of champagne. I had a heck of a time tracking down fresh passion fruit – and am happy to say it was worth it. So don’t focus on the name if it bothers you – call it a passion fruit martini. But definitely give this one a try.
Sex on the Beach
One of those 70’s drinks that started all those naughty drinks and shot names. Undrinkable with cheap ingredients, but delicious when you take it seriously.
1 1/2oz vodka
1 1/2oz peach schnaps
1/2oz Chambord or crème de cassis
1 1/2oz fresh orange juice
1 1/2oz cranberry juice
Cocktail umbrella
Add everything to a shaker with ice and shake for 15 seconds. Strain into an ice-filled Collins or highball glass. Add the umbrella and a straw and serve.
Grab a shaker and your best gal or guy (or friend) and celebrate Valentine’s Day by trying a new cocktail.
Cheers!
Bill
AotCB-049
