Greetings…We have a problem. The companies want something done about their sluggish economic situation. Profits have been running a little thin lately and we need to stimulate some growth…now we know there are an alarming high number of young people roaming around with nothing to do but stir up trouble for the police and damage private property.
Right! Student protests demand we abolish our apartheid state…those goddamn college students keep holding BDS rallies that are starting to gain traction. Even large European cities are holding them in support of the Arabs. We need more distractions.
It is about time we did something constructive. The companies think it is a good time that we all sit down and have a serious get-together, and start another war!
My country is ready to partner with you guys!! We thought Crimea might entice America a bit more. My missile projects have been going well. Thank you, China.
Hey, let’s give us credit. America has partnered in the past. First, Israel continues to be a recipient-awash with billions of dollars-and Israeli arms transfers to Ukraine have been successful to date. That deal is spectacular. Transfer money as aid and then it is spent it to prop up profits on Wall Street! So, so sweet! Second, we recently ponied up over a half a billion dollars in military aid to Ukraine, which will help create profits. Third, Cheney and Bush showered the companies with extensive profits…I have goosebumps just thinking about those days.
Listen, we cannot count on Turkey just yet. Too unreliable. Give them a few more years. When will that Belt and Road Initiative get completed?
Well, we had the side project-you know-the pipeline nipping a portion of Pakistan en route to the Indian Ocean, the ultimate goal, with America unconcerned. However, Trump did not get re-elected and now the rise of the Taliban just does not…ummm…let’s return to that plan in a few years. We have plenty of steel, laborers, rare-earth minerals, and earth-moving equipment made in the good ole USA. The belt and road plan continues…don’t worry about it.
We all agree to remove Zelenskyy, right?
Yes.
And secure Ukraine to the Dneiper River and eastward. Forget Afghanistan, Romania, Transnistria, and Moldova, right?
Yes.
I think I know where this is going, but when does my country get to flex its muscles?
Shut up. Go grab your ball and play with Rodman. Get him back to your country and have some fun! Keep your people…docile. We’ll be transporting Ukrainian wheat and corn to feed them. Just be patient. Listen to the task at hand.
We all will continue to coexist with Finland and Sweden, and Switzerland will also remain untouched. Our Swiss bank accounts must be preserved. We can cover northern Ukraine and act as a buffer for Poland.
I hear Americans have started to show their patriotism by refusing to buy Stolichnaya vodka.
Kinda like their aversion to French fries and demanded Freedom Fries.
That was hilarious! A self-imposed distraction!! What we cannot afford is to have America lift the embargo on Venezuelan oil. That would seriously decrease the cost of oil. That is a huge wild card right now, which cannot be understated. But that is the Western Hemisphere. Let America deal with that world as well as Mexico, Cuba, etc., but their hypocritical ways will always have eyes to the east. Yes, I said it. Democracy, I mean capitalism, always has something to do with men killing men. So here’s the plan. After securing said portions of Ukraine, we will pivot south to link to the Iranian border.
Why aren’t they here?
They already know. However, they are a bit unreliable too, given your apartheid state. You’ve got to control your police! Stop killing those rock-throwing kids and the barrier walls are a huge black eye and a distraction on what we are trying to accomplish here. Those home demolitions are really starting to irritate me. You have your American aid. Back to the plan. We will have a cakewalk going south on the east side of the Caspian Sea. Again, Turkey is not in the current plans. We will push the humanitarian and peace button to embarrass Turkey by claiming we are defending the very small Armenian population. We will envelope that sea and stop for now.
That plan will not deploy a lot of armaments and does not include Poland, correct? We are ready, comrade. We will pave the way north at any time. I must thank you for your promises during past negotiations, and we are happy to provide refuge for your troops in our safe haven. Listen, there will be a buying spree! Turkey wants more American weaponry. So does Israel. Look, war is money. This weekend’s Wall Street Journal reported that Poland wants to buy $6billion dollars of Abrams tanks from the U.S. Ca ching! The paper also mentioned Latvia is negotiating with America to buy artillery and air and coastal defense systems.
That reminds me, those Baltic countries will not be encroached upon in the near future. Let them spend money for products they will not use. Talk about a false flag operation. You can’t make this stuff up!! Besides, we already have access to the Baltic Sea. That will never end on my watch.
We all agree the time is not ripe for the big one, right?
Right!
The companies will be so pleased.
*Thank you, Jello Biafra, for inspiring me!
