Bara Karin is a Swedish artist, songwriter and producer. Today, November 25, is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and she is releasing a song and music video on this topic.
“You can buy love for money was written,” says Bara Karin, “as a reaction to the things I’ve learned through my work as a psychologist at an NGO focusing on VAW (violence aganist women) and sexual exploitation. It’s not easy to leave a violent relationship. Often times I hear things like “why does she stay?”, “she/you have such a bad taste for guys/men” and “women who get into violent relationships are weak”. But the questions we need to ask is “why do men expose women to violence?” And it’s not only the physical violence of course. Usually it starts with the psychological violence, like controlling your partner’s clothes, where she goes, who she talks to. And of course, it happens in stages. The guy doesn’t hit on the first date, it’s building up to that moment, and since it’s building up: when the hit comes, it can be very hard to sort out all the thoughts and emotions around the relationship. Because of course, there are parts you like with your partner as well, or at least you did in the beginning. Like for example, a lot of people think it’s cute with jealousy, like “he tries to control you because he’s jealous and that means that he really likes you”, but jealousy isn’t love. And also, men’s violence against women starts with boy’s violence against girls, so we need to start talking about about this with the kids and being aware that this happens in the youth’s relationships as well.”
Support in Sweden/anti-domestic violence sites:
Ungarelationer.se
Kvinnofridslinjen: 020-50 50 50
https://www.unizonjourer.se/hitta-stod/
International support/anti-domestic violence sites:
https://www.endvawnow.org/en/need-help
