Chapter Four
The days that followed, Keith still met me after school unless I stayed late to finish projects. I followed him to practice often, so I could talk with Ryan’s mother, Louisa. She always gave sound advice. On Saturday, twenty-five February, I turned seventeen. The Piss Ants were playing that night, but Keith met me after school that afternoon.
“I know you’re going out with Aimee tonight, but I want to give you something. It’s at my flat. My curiosity piqued, I followed him to his flat. There, grinning like a little kid, he handed me a small jewel box. I opened it to find a pair of crystal-encrusted skull and crossbones earrings with hollow eyes. “They’re genuine Vivienne Westwood earrings,” he proclaimed, still grinning from ear to ear.
“They’re perfect,” I said. “I’ll wear them to the show tonight.” I kissed him. He kissed me back and soon his hands roamed over my breasts, making their way downward and meandering up my thighs, then inside my knickers. Again I freed myself. “I’d best get going. Aimee’s expecting me.”
“No, let me give you a birthday present you won’t forget,” Keith begged.
“I told you not yet.”
“When, then? We’ve been going out three months now.”
“When I’m ready, you’ll be the first to know.” I gave him a quick kiss. “See you tonight.”
Aimee and I both attended the concert. Half way into the show, Keith knelt on one knee and sang happy birthday to me. I felt so special.
Everything was going beautifully until one time in early March. We were kissing on Keith’s bed when in my passion, I inadvertently knocked over an empty guitar case, unearthing a plastic bag filled with what looked like marijuana and some colorful pills. I snatched it. “What is this? Are you using drugs?”
Initially he looked guilty, but managed a quick defense. “I don’t always. I smoke weed sometimes, mostly before shows, but haven’t used the pills in ages, honest.”
I looked at him aghast. “How can you act like this is no big deal?”
“I’ve had sleep issues since childhood. The downers help me sleep. The uppers help me stay awake during school. I don’t touch anything like coke or heroine.”
“How can we have a future if I’m worrying you’ll get arrested –- or worse.”
“I always keep them here. And really, since you came along, I haven’t used them., honest.”
I looked at the bag, then at Keith. “Prove you don’t need them. Flush them.”
He looked at me, horrified. “I can’t do that!”
“Why? You said you don’t need them any more.”
“But the weed helps calm my nerves before going on stage.”
“Flush everything or I’m walking out and never coming back.” I nodded towards the door and hoped he wouldn’t call my bluff.
“Come on, be fair. Smoking weed is no big deal.”
My heart pounded so hard, but I stood my ground. “It’s me or the drugs.”
He hesitated.
I grabbed my things. “Fine, you choose drugs.” I headed for the door.
“Okay, I’ll do it.” He rose from the bed and walked to the bathroom. I stood by as he dumped the contents and flushed them. “That’s the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done.” He looked devastated.
I was elated he did that for me. I was in love. I reached up and kissed him.
Keith kissed me back and I didn’t object this time as his hands roamed up my skirt. Suddenly he scooped me up and carried me to the bed. He put me down and snuggled beside me, running his hands up the inside of my thighs. “I want you something wicked.”
I couldn’t believe I was letting him do this, yet I wanted more. “So do I,” I finally agreed. “But I haven’t done anything about birth control.”
He gave a sly grin. “I have.” He grabbed a box of condoms from a near-by dresser and ripped it open. “I’ve waited for this.” He snuggled close to me on the narrow bed. I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with the posters of the Sex Pistols, The Clash and The Who staring down at me.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” he asked between kisses.
I ran my hands through his ebony tresses. “I love you so much it hurts.”
“Speaking of hurt, if it hurts, I’ll stop. I want our first time to be perfect.”
We kissed again and before I had time to take a deep breath and wonder if I really was ready, Keith had his hands up my blouse, fondling my breasts. I responded by running my hands over his bum. He was so gorgeous and very sexy. At that moment I was ready. I didn’t care as my clothes one by one dropped to the floor. Ordinarily I was careful about folding them, but my attentions were elsewhere as I admired Keith’s naked body now straddling me. After a lot more kissing and heavy petting, Keith tore open the condom packet with his teeth. He gave a sly grin. “I bought the French Ticklers in your honor.”
I didn’t have time to react before Keith slipped it on and slowly I experienced euphoria like nothing I’d felt before. He didn’t hurt me — quite the contrary. I now understood what it was to make mad, passionate love. I wanted this moment to last forever. Keith suddenly went from slow and tender to a faster pace. I cried out in ecstasy.
“I’m not hurting you, am I?” he asked.
“No,” I managed to gasp. I clung to him as a million electrical impulses surged through me. Then the nirvana was over.
Keith rolled off me and we lay alongside each other savoring the moment. He pulled off the condom, letting it fall to the floor, then snuggled close. “Spend the night,” he pleaded. “We can have a shag fest all night.” He kissed me and fondled my breasts again.
“I have lectures in the morning.” I said between kisses.
“I’ll give you a lift. What time?”
“Nine, but I’ll need to shower and eat, change clothes, do my makeup . . . ”
He ran his fingers through my hair. “Don’t wear makeup. You’re beautiful enough.”
“With my auburn hair, ice blue eyes and porcelain skin, I resemble a corpse.”
He kissed me again. “And a very beautiful corpse at that.”
I giggled. “So you’re saying I look like a corpse?”
“I did not.” He gave a mock pout and ran his fingers through my hair again. “Promise you’ll never cut your hair. I don’t want one micrometer of you changed.”
“If you’ll promise me something first.” I wrapped my arms around him. “Promise you’ll stay away from drugs.”
“Not even the weed?” he whined. “I don’t use it often, honest. It helps me relax.”
“Even the weed,” I insisted.
He sighed in defeat. “Okay, I promise.”
“You need to swear on something.” I looked around the room. “Your guitar. Swear on your guitar.”
He laughed. “The acoustic or the Les Paul?”
“I don’t care. All right, the acoustic. That’s the one you always carry around.”
He gave me a look of disbelief. “You’re serious?”
“Absolument.”
He sat up, grabbed his acoustic guitar from its stand and put it across his lap.
“Now place your right hand on the body of the guitar . . . ”
A devilish grin came over him. “I’d rather put my hand on your body.” He began groping my breasts.
“I’m serious,” I stressed, moving his hand onto his guitar. I sat on my knees alongside him. “Now, raise your left hand and repeat. I, Keith . . . What’s your middle name?”
He rolled his eyes slightly. “Winston.”
“Winston?”
“I’m not having you on. I’m named after John Lennon. That was his middle name. In fact Morrison’s a stage name.”
I gave him an incredulous look. “I didn’t know that.”
“It was Ryan’s idea. He said it sounded better than Moore. I’m having it legally changed now that I’m eighteen. I don’t want my dad’s name.”
I shook my head. “You’re certainly full of surprises. What about Winston?”
“My mum was a huge Beatles fan. When she was pregnant with me the band broke up. So she named me after her favorite.”
“Not John?”
“My dad’s John. She didn’t want me named after him. I told you my mum’s a nutter.”
I shook my head again. “Okay, start over. I, Keith Winston Morrison, do solemnly swear I will not use any drugs unless prescribed.”
He repeated it, grudgingly.
The phone rang.
“Bloody hell. If that’s my dad, I have half a mind to change my number and not let him have it.” He grabbed the phone. “I don’t want anything. So whatever you’re selling, ring some other poor sot . . . Oh, it’s you then, Aimee. What, you’re looking for my girlfriend? You don’t want to talk to me?”
I tried grabbing the phone, but he pulled away. “I guess you’re in luck because she wants to talk to you. ‘ang on.” With a little boy grin, he handed me the phone.
“Bon soir, Aimee. Ca se passe?”
“What’s up is your mother rang twice and will ring again if she doesn’t hear from you within the hour. Are you coming home soon? You still live here, right?”
I laughed. “I still sleep there. Except I’m spending tonight here.”
“You are? Are you sure you’re ready to do that?”
“Absolument!”
“I hope you know what you’re doing and you’re being careful, right?”
“If you’re alluding to what I think, then yes.”
“What should I tell your mum when she calls? The truth?”
Keith began kissing my toes and moved upward. I tried stifling a giggle.
“Absolutely not!” I knew she was kidding, but I didn’t fancy explaining my whereabouts to my mother. I only told my parents I’d been dating a piano student from the Royal Academy of Music. “I’ll ring her from here,” I said.
“She asked if you’re still seeing, as she put it, that young man.”
“What did you tell her?”
“Don’t worry. I didn’t betray you. I told her to ask you.”
“Oh merde. Now she’ll grill me.”
“Well, good luck.”
I hung up and took a deep breath. “I need to ring my mother. She rang twice and told Aimee she would ring again soon.”
“Call from here. I’m having a shower before I leave for practice.”
I picked up the phone and punched in the number. “Allo, Mama. Aimee said you rang a couple times. Pourquoi?”
“I have not heard from you in awhile. Are you still alive?”
“I think you’d have heard if I wasn’t.”
“Well, how are you? How are your studies?”
“I’m fabulous. My studies are fabulous.”
“Are you still seeing that young man?”
“His name is Keith and yes.”
“Well, if you are that serious, your father and I want to meet him. You two can come down for Paques.”
“I think Keith’s busy with his band during Easter.”
“Are you coming down?”
“I don’t think so. I’ll come in summer but only for a few days. I thought I’d get a summer job.”
“How serious are you about this young man.”
“Very.” I hoped I wouldn’t have to explain further.
“I am not convinced you are making wise choices. You are only in your first year at the academy. Your father and I have as much invested in your education, and I know how hard you worked to get accepted.”
Keith emerged from the bathroom wearing only a pair of red bikini underpants.
“I must go, Mama. I need to get something to eat. I’m starving.”
“You take care of yourself. You know you get sick when you lose weight.”
“Mama, I’m grown now. I can care for myself. Stop fretting.”
“I fret because I love you, ma cherie.”
“Moi aussi. I promise I’ll ring in a few days.” I hung up before she could say more.
Keith was toweling off his shaggy, dark tresses. “Everything okay? You’re conversation seemed a little heated and I don’t understand much French.”
“I guess. I just wish my parents would accept I’m grown up.”
“Amen to that. Let’s forget about the people who gave birth to us.” He grabbed his faded Levis from the floor and put them on.
“I’m adopted, remember?”
“I forgot. So what are you, an orphan?”
“I know is I was born in Paris and was adopted right away and I can’t complain. My parents are great. They’re just having a hard time letting me go.”
Keith wiggled into a t-shirt with cut-off sleeves and a Union Jack. “If I ever have kids they’ll be smothered with affection.”
“Will you ever share your demons with me?”
“Not tonight. I don’t want anything tainting this perfect evening.” He threw on his tattered denim jacket.
“I don’t understand why you resent your dad. He’s been supporting you.”
“Because my dad thinks he can fix any problem with money. It doesn’t get any deeper for him.”
“Do you plan to hate your parents forever? This bitterness will destroy you.”
“It won’t destroy me. I appreciate you care, but I’m okay. I really am.”
I really hope he is okay, I thought to myself.
Ryan’s mother, Louisa, was the warmest, most caring person ever. She even looked like everyone’s mum. She was in her mid forties with graying brown shoulder length hair and the same milk chocolate eyes as Ryan. She was the main reason I came to band practice.
As always she greeted me with a big hug. “I’m so glad you brought your girlfriend,
Keith. Come into the kitchen, dear,” she told me. “I have tea brewing.”
I followed her into the kitchen and sat at the table.
“I haven’t seen you in awhile. You haven’t come to practices.”
“Oh, I couldn’t,” I explained. “I keep so busy with school.”
“Good, so you’re keeping up with your studies, then.”
“Of course. I worked hard to get accepted to that school.”
“I’m glad Keith chose a sensible young woman. We’ve been worried about him.” Louisa brought the tea to the table.
“I’m really worried about him.” I took a deep breath. “I found drugs in his flat. A zip bag with pills and marijuana.”
Louisa didn’t look surprised. “Did you confront him?”
“Of course. I made him flush the lot.”
“And he did it?” Now she looked surprised.
“I told him if he didn’t I was walking out of his life. You don’t seem surprised about the drugs.”
Louisa’s face turned grim as she tucked her hair behind one ear. “Everyone close to Keith knows he’s been using drugs for at least two years. We’ve tried everything to get him to quit, but he just pulled further away. He cares about you a lot if he’s willing to stop for you.”
“I’m hopelessly in love with him. Do you know anything about his childhood?”
“I know when Ryan started primary school, he and Keith became very close. Keith spent a lot of time here and would beg us to let him stay. It wasn’t long before my husband, Frank, who’s a pediatrician, you know, noticed he frequently had unexplained injuries. So we got licensed as foster carers.”
“When did he come live with you?”
“When he was ten. It was the day after Christmas and his father left to spend three months in New York City. His mother apparently took her anger out on Keith. He showed up at our doorstep around nine at night, wearing only jeans, a t-shirt and no shoes. He was soaked from head to toe. It had been raining but not hard. He refused to tell us what happened and was shaking like an autumn leaf, poor dear. We took him in and notified the authorities. He lived with us the entire year. We wanted to adopt him, but his father knew the court system well and the judge ruled in their favor. There were stipulations. His mother had to get counseling and his father had to stay in London and they had to attend parenting classes, but no one mandated family therapy. When Keith learned he was being returned to his parents, he ran away. When the social worker came, he was nowhere. Frank went looking for him without success.”
“What ended up happening?”
“Apparently he snuck back here. Ryan and his sister Katherine snuck food to him and even snuck to school with him. I don’t know how they did it, but when he went to school, the jig was up. It broke our hearts, but we had to call the authorities. He’d been reported missing. When the caseworker came, he begged us not to send him back. All the promises of things being different, that he would be safe, were of no use. He refused to stay home and constantly ran back to us. His father accused us of encouraging him because we always took him in. How could we not?”
I felt even closer to Keith. “Some people shouldn’t be parents.”
“Well, dear, that’s an unfortunate fact.”
“I hope things work out between us.”
Louisa gave me a hug. “Go slow. One thing you have is plenty of time.”
I always felt better talking with Louisa. I understood why Keith felt so happy here.
We finally returned to Keith’s flat after ten. The night was restless. Was it just the discomfort of sleeping with someone in a single bed? Or was I worried if Keith would stay off drugs.
[To be continued… Click here to view all chapters.]
